Thursday, April 12, 2012

Dear Hulk Hogan

As a child you were my hero
Ever since you defeated Andre the Giant
You were my hero
I mean
At first he was until you came along and destroyed him
I thought you were so cool when you brought out Mr. T
I always worked out just to catch up to your 24 inch pythons
But I gave up
I rather buy rims instead
I watched all your movies
"Suburban Commando", "Thunder in Paradise",
Even "Mr. Nanny"
Loved them all
Then you took a break from wrestling
I missed you when you were gone
First it was WWF
Then you resurfaced in WCW
I started watching WCW because of you
For years I was entertained by your presence
Until you traded sides
You sold me out
For the NWO
You traitor!
How could you?
Guess it was for the money
Even the black and red NWO were cooler than
Your lame black and white NWO
Even today I'm irritated with thoughts of NWO
Especially when people talk about
New World Order and the government
You traded cheers for boos overnight
Hulkamania was killed with your fancy feathers,
Stupid motorcycle,
And that new cocky theme music that I can't get outta my head!
Even worst
You came out with a reality show
You were proud to show the world
Your family is dysfunctional
You even added more insult
By giving your daughter a singing career
And your son fast cars he couldn't handle
To to it off
Your wife divorced you to become a cougar
Now what?
I hate you for ruining your legacy
I am no longer a "Hulkamaniac"
I gave it up when you sold us out

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