Smarts

The cannibal opened up about his eating habits
He said his favorite part to eat were the brains
The criminal psychologists asks him why
He replied
"Because it makes you smarter"

Hoopty

Man I swear I hate my car/When I drive I cross fingers hoping I make it far/Every trip is a leap of fate on a dish/I'm so brave because people say I have a death wish/Nervous every time I turn ignition/Skeptical that it might not come on/When it turns over I smile/Tires been worn down a while/Not doing "Donuts" but rolling on them/If my car could talk it would say "I hate him"/ Then it says "Please pull us over"/It turns off one tail light becoming bolder/Signaling for police to come get me/Thank God I don't have warrants for them to hit me/With hand cuffs but enough's enough/Next week I'm going to fix my baby up/So it won't hate me no more/Treat it like a queen and not a run down whore

Rain Rain

Rain Rain
Go away
Because I have
A show today

Rain Rain
Makes me sad
If you go away
It'll make me glad

Juicy Fruit

Carrington's

Baby girl...
Please forgive me
For me having the audacity
To invite you to Carrington's
Its just that I figured we'd have so much fun
When you said "no" I felt dumb.....dumb
When it comes to class I do have some....some
I regret asking you to come there
You refusing to do so is fair
Now I feel horrible wondering "Why did I dare?"
I mean baby....I do care
About you even though me asking you there
Was such a waste
And a disgrace
Please give me space
While I work on my taste

K.O.F. 2012 (Sestina)

He challenges me to a duel
Laughing at my background
Dismissing that I'm King of all Street Fighters
I've mastered Alpha, Versus Capcom, Street Fighter II and 3
One must be a fool to challenge me
As I scroll through each character

Who will I pick to pick apart his characters?
Not evenly matched so how could this be considered a duel?
Why does this game not allow blood in the background?
If I could  I would splatter the ground with his blood before round 3
He has this game confused with King of Fighters

But this is not King of Fighters
This is a different class of character
Dizzy with my flurries as he struggles to count to 3
Politely I ask of him to tap out of this so called duel
Pride influences him to keep going as witnesses watch in our background
I think he is furious at me

But not little ol' innocent me?
His time would be better served watching UFC fighters
Every MMA fighter has Street Fighter precusor in their background
Kung Fu versus boxing and different styles for each character
Mainstream was hip to MMA before they realized such a duel
Only champions deserve more than rounds of 3

But he stick around to make it to round 3
All hail Champion "Me"
Is there a such thing as a bully in a duel?
Is there a such thing as inferior fighters?
Where there is same balanced repertoire for each?
He continually notices the colorful background

A euphoria of stars circle his background
Dazed that he can't make it to round 3
He blames my circle of superior character
Begging for mercy from me
Telling me how to rotate and use other fighters
What gives him the right to coach me in this duel?

This has become a lopsided comical duel
Cracking jokes as I have become quite a character
He picked the wrong day to play with me

Picture comes courtesy of Nerds Do It Better

Holed Up

She screams
From indoors her voice rings
Unlike anyone has ever seen
Life is threatened, it had to have been
Police called to the scene
Hostage negotiation team
Stands alert, minutes has been
Ticking and ticking, door opens, her head lean
Outside front door so keen
Wearing robe colored white cream
All in shock like a crazy dream
Apologizing for having midnight sex so extreme

WWDD?

Once upon a time
I tried to be a player
I had a few girls spread out
Around the city
I was okay at juggling
And rotating them
But I had many problems
I was too emotional
I just couldn't handle the demands
I collapsed under pressure
Every time things would fall apart
(Which was often)
I took a deep breath
And ask myself
"What would Drake do?"

Soul & Food

I just ate some Subway
Got the "itis" and passed out
I took an hour nap
Within that hour
I had a very bad dream
I was outside in the front yard
And these four hamsters were driving a Kia Soul
They parked their car
Disrespecting my neighborhood by blasting their music
They were jamming some guy name "V.I.C."
They all stared at me
Rolled down their windows
Got out their vehicle at the same time
They were taller than me
And I noticed......
They were pregnant
Fat as can be
They wobbled when they walk
Then on cue
Together they danced to the "Wobble" song
While doing the "Wobble"
A gang of stray dogs wandering the streets together in heat
Stopped and stared at the wobbling hamsters
Then all the dogs stood on their hind legs
And did the "Wobble" too
Everyone was on beat
Including me
Then I woke up

Bounce

She dumped her boyfriend of 2 years yesterday. She hooks up with a new guy tonight. Fucked him real good and gave him the time of his life. Instantly he was hooked on her. He asked her when he can see her again and she said "I'm done with you now. I'm going to make up with my boyfriend tomorrow. You were just my rebound."

Fifty-Fifty

"I'm alone with no man", she said
"Microwave dinners I'm constantly fed
No man brave enough to wear a wedding band
They're all scared to marry
Alone at altar I stand"

Preacher opens his mouth and said,
"You're too much trouble
Wrong impulses you're led
Thinking some man is gonna give you his time
Sign away his life?
Child you ain't that fine"

She ask, "What must I do?"

He said, "Don't crash no one else's wedding
Just because you caught the bouquet boo"

(This is a spin on the classic Langston Hughes poem "50-50")

Technique

As I put my hand between her thighs
Hormones would arise
To my surprise
She replies
In moans and sighs
Drips and cries
As if it sympathize
Yearns for my touch to realize
Awakened and energize
Surrounded by beautiful skies
Circled by birds, bees, and flies
Stalked by perverted spies
Peeping Toms and weird guys
I caution wandering eyes
To come near us is not wise
A technique to cause scatter like bee hives
She smells sweet as ginger
Middle and index bring her
Sharp feelings that sting her
From her belly through heart ting her
Impulsions I bring her
Footsteps overheard by the one who linger
I scared him off by asking
"Do you want to smell my finger?"




















(Charcoal painting courtesy of Michael C. Rodriguez)

The Beat Down

(From Marcell Murphy's perspective)

I can't beat him
No matter how hard I try
I can't beat him
In an outrage I desperately revert to anger management strategies
He forces me to take deep breaths
Every time I exhale I count
I count for my own sanity as I cannot win

1!
This guy keeps beating me
2!
He only picks Street Fighter characters!
3!
He didn't warn me of his skills
4!
My wife and his girlfriend is watching!
5!
He picked Ryu again!
6!
I underestimated him
7!
Now I must respect him
8!
More people witness my downfall
9!
He lets the time run out on the final round and wins by decision
10!
He picks Ken and Ryu!

How will I overcome this uphill battle?
Maybe I was destined to lose
To lose in front of a national audience like Mitt Romney losing to Obama
My president is black
And my challenger was Blue
Now we know who
Is the greatest Street Fighter player I ever knew

Done

"Shut up bitch!"
"Don't talk back"
Then I slap her
"Shut up bitch!"
"Where's the rest?"
"That's all you got?"
"I need more money!"
Then she hit me back
And talked hella smack
At that moment I realized
My discipline wasn't working
She can't support me
Down to my last one
My operation was falling apart
I suck at this
From that day on
As I remember
Was the day
That I.....
Retired......
From pimping.....
:(

American Idol

Dam baby why you teasing me?/You had the audacity to flash everyone on live TV/You were suppose to show me privately/But I'll take the snap shots while you try to handle all the publicity/Look what you've done starting this frenzy/With mainstream America teasing young horny babies/And wannabe ladies/Going through puberty/A pleasure for all to see

Post

Since my son just fell asleep
I started to take this free time
To post something crazy on your wall
But then I stopped myself...
For some reason I stopped
I deleted it
I amazed myself
Wondering how did I stop that bad impulse
Then I realized something even more grand
I learned.....
There is a God

Earth, Wind, & Fire

I was made to Earth, Wind, and Fire. I could not exist without The Earth, Wind, and Fire. When those precious elements are put together, magic is made. I become the magic as these elements are the spark of my life. As I was sitting in the womb, I could hear the rumblings of The Earth, Wind, and Fire through the protective layers of my mothers protective boundaries set forth for me. My father was around but he was not protective enough from the effects of the Earth, Wind, and Fire that surrounds us three. Because of that, he is my father. And my mother would sing me lullabies that would stick to me til this day. When I was born I could hear both parents singing to me. When I grew to that of a teenager I would finally get to see, understand, and grasp the elements of Earth, Wind, and Fire as well as the effects they have on people. On this day I had to accept some facts that were very difficult for me. The thought of Earth, Wind, and Fire makes me cringe to this day knowing I was made off of their music. Their music set the mood for my parents to make love. And the thought or image of both my parents doing "it" makes me want to throw up. Almost as worst a walking in on them. I wish I could slam myself into the Earth, bounce off of it, then thrown into the Wind, and blown into some Fire!.... Hot, hot fire. I had faced what all children dread to face..... Seeing, hearing, or thinking about their parents doing "it".

Take That Mitches!

Dear Romney,

Since you no longer matter I would like to say "Fuck you, uuuhhhhh... fuck your hair, fuck your flip floppiness on issues, uuuhhhh... fuck Stacy Dash, fuck JJ from Good Times, fuck your fairy tales, fuck your dreams moving to the big house, fuck the voting machines your son rigged, uuuuhhhhh... fuck Sandy, fuck Bush Sr, fuck Bush Jr, fuck the bush you smoking, fuck your business plans, uuuuhhhhhh... fuck Trump, fuck P-90X abs, fuck your grey hair, fuck your smile, fuck your taxes, fuck the mittens you oven bake with, annnnnddd fuck you for thinking your state would vote for you."

The realest streets in America are Martin Luther King Street and Sesame Street.

This was Boondocks inspired and approved.

Sincerely,
Your President

Dick Rider

Why do you follow and applaud your homeboy's every move?/If he starts dancing then you all of a sudden find your groove/He grab a bitch then you try to find one too/You don't hate on him but he hate on you/Stupid monkey man following all he do/Get any closer you would mistaken for his boo/You two other pretty niggas in the room/Looking like Diddy, Ma$e, and Loon/Singing different songs to fit his tune/Anthems like will.I.am on 3rd season of the Boon/Ummmm.... Yeah! The Boondocks/When he wear something nice you say "Hey that's hot!"/ Even the bitches tell you to stop/Always riding shotgun in the same car off the lot/Not worthy to drive as you sit and rot/Looking out the window shouting at the girls but can't pull no hoe/Because they mistake you for the scrub off the TLC video/ Talking shit to haters but they look at you like a silly foe/As you speak they say "Really though?"/"This dumbass just don't know"/Given reality check to grow

Repeat

Last night I went out to an open mic and this guy got on stage and performed a bland and dry rap song for the audience. He showed no emotion or any depth with his word play whatsoever. Crowd wasn't feeling him and started talking while he was performing. He then stops the song when he was almost done and fusses at the crowd. He says "Yall gonna talk while I express myself? Man..... Do you want to start over?" and the crowd responded "Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!"..... He started song over anyway as their punishment. I walked outside.